As part of our Noughties Retrospective series, this week’s shortlist is a brief yet sordid reminder of the most scandalous episodes from football’s last decade, in no particular order.

Faria Alam

We didn’t enjoy hearing about the shenanigans of the FA’s secretary in the company of her employer and Sven, but we were forced to nonetheless. Faria made a fortune out of some very red executive faces, some of whom resigned. Sven sailed serenely on, getting off lightly because, well, he’s Swedish.

Adrian Mutu

Chelsea spent the best part of £16m to prise the Romanian striker from Inter, and he made a decent start. But then, in September 2004, Mutu failed a drugs test, and his cocaine habit became public knowledge.

Chelsea swiftly gave him the sack, and he was banned from football for seven months by the authorities. The Blues are still engaged in legal action with Mutu as they chase him for compensation over breach of contract.

Calciopoli

When, in 2006, Italian investigators discovered a match-fixing ring involving Calcio’s most famous clubs, all Italy was stunned, while in England we all phoned our mates to say “told you that ref in 1973 was crooked”.

Fiorentina, Lazio, Milan and Reggina were all involved, and punished, in the scam which sought to influence referees and the matches they were allocated to.

But it was Juventus, the Old Lady of Turin, who were most culpable and they were stripped of their Scudetto and demoted to Serie B. The national team, siege mentality implemented, eased the national pain by winning the World Cup.

Transfer bungs

Early in 2006, Luton manager Mike Newell “bravely” spoke out about a culture of transfer backhanders, and the FA initiated a cosy inquiry. Then in September, BBC’s Panorama turned English football upside-down with it’s secret video tapes of managers and agents compromising themselves.

The FA inquiry turned into a proper investigation, and a list of dodgy transfers was released. In November 2007, Harry Redknapp and others connected to Portsmouth were arrested, then released without charge, and the investigations have gradually died down.

Wembley

The national stadium rebuild turned into an international laughing stock – over budget, badly delayed and held to ransom by Australian contractors (well, they would, wouldn’t they). All this is now forgotten as we bask in the shadow of that giant arch, but in the early part of the decade there were serious doubts whether the project would, or even should, be completed.

Fatcats wasted ridiculous sums of money at every opportunity, disagreed over everything, and very nearly caused an international incident with their squabbles with the Australian’s.

World Cup handbags

When it comes to CONCACAF chief Jack Warner, no stranger to scandal himself (see below), nothing the FA can do is good enough. So when, as part of the 2018 World Cup bid, delegates were presented with expensive designer handbags, the FA might have recognised that they were headed for trouble.

One perceived slight and one strongly worded yet somewhat incoherent letter later, the handbag was returned to a chorus of embarrassed coughs from FA bigwigs. Mrs. Warner wasn’t best pleased either, it was a designer bag after all.

World Cup tickets

Pretty much everything connected to FIFA is tainted by scandal in one way or another, but this one took the biscuit. As CONCACAF President, Honest Jack Warner was ultimately responsible for the sale of World Cup tickets in the region.

With his native Trinidad & Tobago having qualified, Warner saw to it that a family firm was selected as partner, and trousered about $1m dollars in black market sales. FIFA cottoned on and levied a matching fine, but Warner had too many friends in high places and only repaid a quarter of the money.