Robbie Keane spots another conspiracy

It’s been an odd week in the world of Robbie Keane. Following on from the Henry Affair™, he sat on the bench at White Hart Lane today and watched as Wigan’s Paul Scharner controlled the ball with his hand and then volleyed the ball into the back of the net.

We managed to get an exclusive quote from Keane after the game, hinting at a dark conspiracy to ensure that the top four remain unchanged this season:

They’re all probably clapping hands, Whelan sitting up there on the phone to Rafa Benitez, probably texting each other, delighted

Actually, as you might have guessed, there were no howls of protest or calls from Spurs for the match to be replayed, or for the immediate introduction of video replays.  This might have had something to do with the nine goals that Spurs scored, the 9-1 final score being the 2nd biggest win in Premier League history after Manchester United’s 9-0 thrashing of Ipswich.

So the incident goes unreported, more or less, and there is no fuss and absolutely no double standards whatsoever*.  Meanwhile, Jermain Defoe becomes the third player after Andy Cole and Alan Shearer to score 5 goals in a single Premier League match, and Aaron Lennon showed why he could be vital to England’s chances in South Africa with some dazzling wing play.