The Tuesday Shortlist – Pointless Punditry

As the Premier League winds it’s way into the second half of the season, the legions of paid pundits have to find something to blather about. This week’s list provides some left-field alternative suggestions for them to debate.

• Title-race Rooney? Gerrard? Drogba? Who will be the first to be knighted for services to diving?
• Top four Can anyone upset the apple cart and break into the top four wage earners?
• Player of the year Who went to the most parties, dated the most models and got photographed outside the most exclusive nightclubs?
• Rotation policy How many more owners will Portsmouth get through in 2010?
• World Cup squad Which pundits will make it to South Africa? Will ITV trump the BBC in a surprise result?
• Transfer rumours Will Manchester City win the league the easy way by buying every player in Europe?